Where the Pinions Stoop to Earth
by Lizardbeth J
Summary: Sam Anders on the sand of a blasted Earth has an unexpected visitor.


**NOTE: **This story was written before 4.5 aired, and is an (strange) crossover AU tag for _Revelations._

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**Where the Pinions Stoop to Earth**

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_"Our days upon Earth are but a shadow... and you shall shine forth and be as the morning."_

_.  
_

Frozen in place, Sam stared blindly, until his eyes seemed as dry as the gray sand beneath his feet, long after the others wandered away among the ruins.

It was all for nothing. He'd given up everything - Kara, being human, **_himself_ **- for this blasted hell. He knew he should be angry, but he couldn't feel anything at all. Everything seemed cold and far away.

But suddenly that _**hum**_ sounded above the wind in his ears, and he jerked, snapping his head up to listen. Then he shut his eyes in refusal. He grit his teeth and pretended he didn't hear anything.

It grew louder, more insistent, a high-pitched whine between his ears and spiking in his brain like a sudden migraine and he knew he had no choice.

Tory was standing off to his left, but she didn't seem to hear it. At a distance, he saw Galen and Saul, walking the wrong direction, and neither of them reacted.

Just him then.

He turned abruptly, walked away from the colonials and the cylons, barely seeing any of them, putting the bridge and ruins of the temple behind him. The cold slipped through his jacket, icy fingers on his neck and at his throat, but he didn't care. The sound pulled him along the shore, south ward, through the desolation.

The hum grew louder, but also more musical and so more bearable, a song that seemed on the edge of familiar. It didn't seem to be the same song as before, but it reminded him of childhood, of being safe and loved. At some point the music began to soften as he walked, at last fading away when the sun touched the horizon, washing the gray water and gray clouds in warm tones of orange and yellow. He stopped to face the west, and closed his eyes against the light, but the sunlight didn't penetrate the cold in his bones. Soon he could open his eyes again as the last rays glowed in the sky and glinted in the spires across the bay.

Except for the wind whistling and the sound of the small waves, all was silent. He waited, resigned to further revelation. It had drawn him here, miles away from everyone else, for some purpose and he had to wait for it. In that moment he felt very small and alone.

A voice spoke from beside him, breaking into his solitude, and yet Sam wasn't startled. "Not alone, my brother. God is always with us."

Expecting Leoben, even though it wasn't his voice, Sam turned. But the man standing next to him wasn't Leoben. It wasn't anyone he'd seen before: he had dark hair, a long tan coat, white shirt, and black trousers. All of it, including his face, seemed scruffy and worn. His gaze rested on Sam, and his expression seemed sad. There was something familiar about the eyes... enough that Sam didn't immediately think how odd it was that he hadn't heard anyone approach.

"God?" Sam repeated bitterly. "I'm so frakking **sick** of god. Gods. Destiny. All of it."

The stranger cocked his head to one side, regarding him with those strangely deep eyes. "You don't remember," he realized abruptly.

"Oh, I remember," Sam gave a hollow laugh at the irony. "I remember my whole life. Of course, it's not actually **my** life. It's all a lie."

The stranger shook his head a little. "It's not a lie," he answered. "It was your life. Or rather, your vessel's life."

Sam was also heartily sick of cryptic bullshit, and people who thought they knew things about him, when no one had seen fit to tell him anything. "Who the frak are you?"

"Castiel," he answered, as if that was supposed to mean something to Sam.

"Are you a Cylon?" Sam demanded. "Is that why you talk about god? Why do you know me?"

"I am an angel of the lord," he answered, as if it was self-evident. "And so are you. But you," he moved closer, frowning at Sam, examining him. Even though he wasn't as tall, there was ... something holding Sam there, unable to move, or even breathe as Castiel moved closer. His eyes seemed to stare right into Sam, deeper, touching his soul. "I see it now. You are trapped inside this form. The Cylons altered it, trying to bind your power. So you have forgotten."

Sam heard the words and trembled. He shook his head in instinctive denial, swallowing back the sudden lump of fear inside him. "I ... don't know what you're talking about."

Castiel reached out and laid his hand against Sam's cheek, warm against the cold, then lowered it again. "I will show you what you truly are," he whispered.

The wind grew stronger, blowing back Castiel's coat and yet Sam barely felt it, as the sky- the air - seemed charged with power. The gray light brightened, and Sam held his breath as he watched ... **wings** unfurled behind Castiel, great shadows against the light as the sound of storm-tossed waves crashed against him. Sam stared, a feeling welling deep inside of awe and pure longing. He took a step nearer, drawn to the light and the form within it. Then only Castiel stood there, as unassuming as before, except for the electric feeling still running through Sam's veins and across his skin.

He shook his head slowly, unable to look away. "That's not ... me. It can't be. I'm a... I'm a Cylon." He had to push the words out through a strangled throat, hating to admit the truth aloud. He forced himself back a step, two, denying what he wanted so desperately. Moving away made him **ache** down to the bone, and tears sprang to his eyes, knowing it was out of his reach because of who - what - he was.

"You are so much more," Castiel murmured.

Sam wanted to believe it, but it was too much for him. "I want..." Sam started hopelessly, and stopped. His shoulders slumped and his hands curled into the slick fabric of his flightsuit as if to hold himself up. And somehow, the words came out, though he hadn't even admitted them to himself. "I'm so tired," he confessed in a whisper. "So tired..."

"You've been gone a long time," Castiel said. "And you have done your work, but it's time to come home." In the space of a blink he was right before Sam again, the reflection of infinity in his eyes, and his hands framed Sam's face with a gentle touch. Sam shook with chills, even though the hands were warm. "Remember," Castiel whispered, right before his lips touched Sam's.

Sam closed his eyes automatically for the kiss. For the first heartbeat, it was any kiss - lips on his, pressing closer, coaxing him to open... he trembled, wondering wildly why he was letting this stranger kiss him.

Then the ground fell away from beneath his feet. He was falling and falling, into the void of eternity, but Castiel caught him, pulled him close. He cradled Sam against him, the welcome heat of another body in all the cold.

_Remember_... Castiel's voice was different, not in his ears now, but thrumming in his blood and his mind. And Castiel's hands - was it his hands? - caressed Sam, his touch chasing the numbness and confusion away. _Remember_. The word was like lightning, shooting all through him - a burst of light in the dark. Knowledge flooded him, but it was too much, pounding him with white waves too strong for his frail form. He tried to scream, but he was drowning, pulled down in the icy depths.

He wasn't alone. Castiel called to him, echoing from everywhere: _I am here. Find me. Come home now. Come home to me..._

Sam followed the shimmering rope of the voice. Sam reached for him, felt his hands grasped tight. He could feel Castiel there, all around, warmth and light in the emptiness. There was the soft brush of something like wings on his skin - so gentle it was nearly unbearable. A mouth on him, drawing out his fear, as one light dipped into the other, twining together, until Sam couldn't know where he stopped and the other began. Then a deeper touch as Castiel reached inside and pulled, irresistible as the tide or gravity. Sam shuddered endlessly, and it was all so intense, part of him wanted to pull away and hide.

_Samuel, there's nothing to fear. Let go of this physical shell and come home_, Castiel urged, and the love in his voice burned away the last of the cold.

Heat rose all through him, not in his body, but in his soul - a cleansing fire that swept through him and set him free.

He opened his eyes. The light filled his vision, and peace filled his spirit as a balm to the ragged edges of loss and pain and fear.

He saw himself bound by one last strand of humanity, tying him to the people he still thought of as his own.

_You must leave them, brother,_ Castiel told him, his voice weighted with sorrow and understanding. _We have done all we can. They must choose their own path now._

Sam grieved, but he knew it was the truth. He saw them all: Roslin and Adama and their love hard-won but true; D'Anna standing in the shadow of her own ambition, humans and cylons together... His gaze settled on Kara, and saw her soul still as bright as the new dawn. He leaned forward, to press a kiss to her lips. "I love you," he whispered, hoping she could hear him. "Always. Forgive me." She blinked and put her hand to her mouth as if she felt something, then looked around with a puzzled face, murmuring his name.

Reluctantly, Sam turned away and saw Castiel waiting for him. Sam could see beyond the mortal visage now, and he longed with all his soul to join with the glory he saw there, and yet he hesitated to break that final thread.

Castiel held out his hand. _We're waiting for you._ After one glance back, Sam took the offered hand and stepped from the twilight, through the darkness, and into the morning.

Behind him, the shadows of wings passed across the golden clouds of the western sky. The scent of forgotten flowers and clean rain lingered on the breeze above the motionless body in the sand.

_fin_.

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End file.
